


Falkland Butter

by CactusMons



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate History, Conspiracy, Corruption, Gen, Kidnapping, Prophecy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CactusMons/pseuds/CactusMons
Summary: A story wherein which Paula Deen and Margaret Thatcher are sisters. Includes a First World Order and a prophecy.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

It was a cold and windy October day. The town of Grantham went about its day as normal, not knowing the crime that was about to take place.

Inside the local hospital, a woman named Beatrice Roberts had just given birth to two baby girls. The first she named Margaret and the second she named Paula.

The doctor had been pulled aside by a shady-looking man just as Beatrice had drifted off to sleep.

"Gimme one of the kids," whispered the shady man.

"What!?" Replied the shocked doctor.

"You heard me," The man mumbled, "There is 100 quid in it for ya".

The doctor thought for a moment.

"I'll do it" stated the doctor.

"Good," said the man handing over the money.

The corrupt doctor picked up one of the children from where they were sleeping and put her in the arms of the man.

Under the light of the corridor, the doctor could see the man was wearing some sort of military uniform, but for what army the doctor didn't know.

Pleased the shady man walked away from the prize in hand.

When Beatrice awoke she looked over to where her two children should have been. Instead of two sleepy babies, she saw a lone child.

"DOCTOR!" She screamed. "DOCTOR HELP"

"What is it?" The doctor from before asked calmly.

"Where is my child?" Asked Beatrice erratically.

"I'm very sorry but your child Paula passed away" Replied the doctor, a one hundred pound note was visible from his coat pocket.

Beatrice burst into tears over the loss of her child while the doctor backed out of the room slowly.

The shady man returned with the child Paula to his organisation, for he worked for The First World Order and they had just gotten news of a prophecy about two sisters who together would be able to destroy The First World Order.

The man walked into his bosses office.

“Hello Director,” the man announced.

“Hello Ivan, take a seat” the Director answered back.

“What are we gonna do with the kid?” Ivan asked.

“We are going to give it away to a family in USA Georgia called the Deen family,” said the Director “There she will be out of our way and then there will be no-one to stop us from taking over the world”.

“I see, I’ll take Paula to the American department so they can give her to the family,” said Ivan as he got up to leave the room.

“Good, tell Millicent that all our troubles are now over,” said the director.

“Will do” Ivan replied leaving the room.

As Ivan handed the child Paula to the American department he wondered what the future would hold for both of the sisters as they would now have to spend their lives far apart not knowing they were ever sisters…


	2. Corruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble stirs in the Order

Paula Roberts now named Paula Deen was handed over to a kind family in Albany, Georgia where she grew up. She went to an Albany high school and shortly after graduating she married her first husband Jimmy Deen.

At this time Margaret Roberts was just being accepted into Somerville College where she would graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in science.

Many years passed and Paula Deen had gotten married to her second husband Michael Groover, She and Margaret (Now Thatcher) had just celebrated their 86th birthdays.

A man named Ivan Ivanov had been living his life in the service of The First World Order. He had been feeling incredibly guilty throughout his life as when he was younger he had separated two children who were prophesied to be able to destroy The First World Order. There was hardly a moment in his later life that he did not regret his younger selves' actions but he knew there was nothing that he could do now to right his wrongs. Or was there?...

After being talked down to by his superiors for the umpteenth time about some minor mistake despite all the years he had been working in The Order (completely devotedly), he decided to take a break and go through some of his files that he needed to organise.

After sitting down at his desk he picked up the stack of files closest to him, he started reading through them one by one. After about twenty minutes of tedious repetitive work, he noticed an odd file that read 'Genocide'. After opening it up, he was shocked to find detailed plans to wipe out half the planet's population.

Immediately he headed to the Director's office. He walked in and showed the Director the file, "What is this?" Ivan demanded.

"It's a file" the Director replied facetiously.

"Why is the file filled with plans about genocide? What is this plan all about?" Ivan asked.

"This plan has been made so when this organisation gets into power we can control the population," said the Director. "We are going to kill half the people on Earth" 

"That's terrible," Ivan said, shocked.

"It's for the good of The First World Order" the Director responded.

"We are meant to be making the world a better place" Ivan stated.

"We are meant to be making money," said the Director.

"I won't let you get away with this!" Ivan Ivanov shouted.

"Then you will die" the Director responded calmly, "Guards, take him and kill him".

The guards grabbed Ivan and pulled him towards a set of hallways marked 'The Execution Block'.

Just before they could throw him into one of the cells, Ivan punched both guards, his years of military training would finally be put to good use.

After knocking the guards out Ivan ran to escape, dodging most of the security cameras and legging it out the front of the ominous facility.


	3. Unity?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot moves on.

As he ran into the countryside, Ivan thought about what he was going to do next. He needed to stop The First World Order and to do this he needed to complete the prophecy. To complete the prophecy, he needed to reunite Paula and Margaret.

He decided that the best way to do this would be to give one of them an anonymous tip about the other and let them find out they were siblings. Then they would be able to defeat The First World Order.

He first had to find one of their phone numbers, he decided to try and find Margaret Thatcher's number as she was the most likely to believe him.  
After using his skills as a hacker to locate and obtain the phone number he gave Margaret a call.

As the phone dialled and he prepared his voice changer.  
" Hello?" Margaret Thatcher inquired.  
"Hello," Ivan replied.  
"Who is this?" Margaret asked.  
"That's not important" Ivan stated, his voice masked the voice changer "I'm calling to tell you about your sister".  
" I don't have a sister," Margaret snapped.  
"Yes, you do her name is Paula Deen," Ivan replied.  
"You're lying," said Margaret.  
"No, I'm not. You know I'm not" Ivan said mysteriously.  
"Well, what about her?" Margaret said hurriedly.  
"You need to meet her, you need to complete the prophecy," Ivan said.  
"What-" Margaret Thatcher was cut off as Ivan hung up the phone.  
'I hope that works' Ivan hoped.

Back at Margaret Thatcher's house, Margaret was contemplating her next course of action after being told that she had a sister and that her sister was a famous chef. The mysterious man said that she knew he was telling her the truth and he was right. She knew Paula Deen was her sister, but how was she going to unite Paula and herself? She decided that she would give Paula Deen a call tomorrow and try to explain everything.

Ivan after making the call at an abandoned house decided that he needed a hideout. He decided that despite the risk going to his step sister's house would be a good place to stay. He travelled by foot for a few hours before reaching his step sister’s house and upon arrival knocked on the door.

“Hello brother,” his stepsister said.  
“Hello Millicent” Ivan replied.  
“I hear you ran away from your execution,” Millicent said much to Ivan’s surprise.  
“They told you?” Ivan asked, shocked.  
“No, but it wasn’t hard to find out, come in you’ll need a place to stay” Stated Millicent.  
“Thank you sister” Thanked Ivan as he walked into the fortress-like house.


	4. Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Margaret ever meet her sister and complete the prophecy?

Ivan and Millicent day at the dining room table drinking tea and talking about the state of The First World Order. They knew they needed to plan for the future ahead as if the prophecy of Margaret and Paula was accomplished then the world would become a very different place.

"Were you able to reunite Margaret and Paula?" Millicent inquired.  
"I told Margaret Thatcher of her sister, whether or not she trusts me and reunites with her sister is a different matter," Ivan replied.  
"Let's hope she does," Millicent asserted.

At the Thatcher residence, Margaret was dialling the number of Paula Deen her supposed sister.

"Hello?" Paula asked.  
"Hello, I am Margaret Thatcher," said Margaret.  
"What is the former prime minister of England doing calling me, an American chef?" Said Paula.  
"I am calling to tell you that you are my sister!" Margaret stated.  
"I don't have a sister," Paula exclaimed.  
"That is what I thought as well," Margaret responded, "but it turns out we are siblings".  
" How do you know this?" Paula inquired.  
"A man phoned me and told me about you," Margaret Thatcher replied.  
"I believe you," Paula said, "I don't know why, but I do."  
We should meet up sometime" Margaret said.  
"Where?" Paula asked.  
"We should meet at the ritz on the 8th of April 2013," said Margaret.  
"Ok, I will see you there, goodbye Margaret," said Paula solemnly.  
"Goodbye, Paula," said Margaret.

Margaret hung up and sat down in her chair, ready to make arrangements for her meeting with her sister.

Back at Millicent Ivanov's house, Ivan and his sister were making plans to combat The First World Order. Ivan decided that he should call Margaret to tell her about the prophecy.

"Hello?" Margaret asked.  
"Hello, " said Ivan, "have you talked to your sister?"  
"Yes, I have" Margaret replied.

Ivan explained to her about The First World Order and about the prophecy that involved her and her sister. He explained that only they could stop The First World Order and save the world, Margaret said that she would tell Paula Deen what he told her.

“I’ve told her about the Order,” Ivan said after finishing his call with Margaret Thatcher.  
“Good,” Millicent said “The sooner they can beat them the better”

At the headquarters of The First World Order, the Director was getting angry.

“What do you mean ‘he told Margaret about her sister’?” The Director growled angrily.  
“The transmissions department said they listened in on his conversations with her and that he told her everything” Said Louis Garbonzel.  
“Everything?!” Shouted the Director.  
“Yes,” Louis said timidly.  
“I want you to find out where Ivan is calling from and send a squad out to assassinate him!” The Director said.  
“Yes sir, right away,” Louis said as he ran out of the Director’s office.


	5. Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An escape... For some...

In the loading bay of The First World Order, 20 men led by a General were getting into a line of camo jeeps. The General was speaking to a timid man called Louis Garbonzel.

The General started “So the Director wants me and my men to get to this place and?”

“And kill the two people in it” finished Louis hurriedly.

“What are these peoples names?” asked the General.

“The Director said it wasn’t important to your mission” replied Louis.

“Very well then, we’ll be off” stated the General as he got into the jeep at the front of the line.

The vehicles headed out of the bay weapons glistening in the pale moonlight while their unsuspecting victims slept soundly not knowing the crime that was about to be committed.

A bullet ricocheted through the wall of the guest bedroom, Ivan bolted awake reaching for his gun. Outside he could hear a man shouting orders as vehicles screeched to a halt. He crept into his sister's room and found her digging through a chest that she had kept until now under her bed.

“What are you looking for?” He whispered aggressively.

“A gun of course!” Millicent whispered back.

“Aha,” she said triumphantly only to be cut short as the sound of bullets pierced the air and her house.

She picked up the AK-47 that she had stored away and poked it through the now shattered window firing it once killing two people in an instant.

“We need to get out of here” Ivan shouted struggling to be heard over the sound of guns firing.

“There is a tunnel in the kitchen under the table that we can use to escape,” Millicent said.

“Of course there is,” Ivan said, “Let's go, quickly”.

Just as they reached the bottom of the stairs, the top floor exploded into hundreds of deadly pieces like a sadistic piñata. They rushed into the kitchen and Millicent took out a bronze key, tugging away a dishevelled rug. She fit the key into a lock on what looked like a trap door. As soon as it was unlocked she swung it open as a bullet pierced her spine.

Despite the pain, she hopped into the tunnel as did Ivan. Ivan closed the trap door and kneeled down to help his sister in the dimly lit corridor.

"Are you okay Millicent?" Ivan asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," Millicent replied.

"No, you're not," Ivan said.

Sounds of army men could be heard above, it was only a matter of time before they were found unless they got away.

"Leave me here and save yourself," Millicent said hoarsely.

"No, I won't leave you," Ivan said.

"You have to, get to Margaret and Paula and tell them that they have to stop the Order," Millicent said.

"Goodbye sister," Ivan said sadly.

Reluctantly and with tears in his eyes, he left Millicent and ran down the corridor. He heard soldiers yelling as he ran and then a gunshot rang out. His sister was dead.

Ivan reached the end of the corridor and climbed out of the tunnel into a forest. He closed the exit door and rolled a hefty looking boulder over it.

Now all he had to do was find Margaret Thatcher...


	6. A new plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivan meets with Margaret for the first time and The First World Order grows desperate to stop them.

It was a cold March day, Paula Deen had been getting ready for her meeting with Margaret Thatcher. She didn't know what to expect from the meeting. She had gotten a call from Margaret saying that they were sisters, she didn't believe her at first but some part of her did. She had always felt like there was a part of her family missing but she never knew what it was, but when she got that call from Margaret she realised that was what she had been missing her whole life.

Ivan Ivanov was trekking through the forest to get to Margaret Thatcher who lived in Dulwich. After the loss of his sister Millicent, to The First World Order, he needed to get to the two sisters and unite them more than ever. The prophecy told that once united the two sisters would have unbelievable power and strike the Order down, this scared the Director and all the higher-ups that worked at the Order.

Margaret was booking The Ritz for her meeting with her sister, Paula Deen. Little did she know, The First World Order was watching her every move.

“Margaret Thatcher has been alive for too long, she knows about her sister and is planning to meet her!” The Director said.  
“What do you want me to do?” Asked Louis.  
“I want you to arrange an assassination, make it look like a heart attack or a stroke,” the Director replied.  
“Right away sir” Louis responded as he left the room.  
“There is no way Margaret will survive this, sister or no sister” The Director muttered under his breath.

Ivan after days of walking finally arrived at the residence of Margaret Thatcher.  
He knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” Margaret asked.  
“It’s the person who knows about your sister”

Margaret opened the door and beckoned Ivan inside.

“You look just like you sound,” Margaret said.  
“Thanks?” said Ivan.

Ivan explained to Margaret about how he was attacked, his sister was killed and how it was imperative that she and Paula needed to meet up.

“I have booked Paula and I a reservation at The Ritz, in the meantime, you can stay here, I am very sorry to hear about your sister,” said Margaret.  
“Thank you,” said Ivan “Until you meet I will have to tell you about the Order and how to beat them.”

Ivan told Margaret about the Director and all the important files and information that he remembered.

“Thank you, Ivan, I have a lot to think about,” said Margaret.  
“You’re welcome,” Ivan said, “I know that you and your sister will be able to save the world from The First World Order’s devilish plans.”


	7. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can The First World Order be stopped now?

It was the night before Margaret and Paula had arranged to meet at The Ritz. Ivan and Margaret were staying in The Ritz’ hotel room. Little did they both know that The First World Order had infiltrated The Ritz and was planning on assassinating Margaret Thatcher.

Margaret called room service and asked for some tea, this was, after all, England and to not have tea while you are trying to topple The First World Order would be a crime in of itself.

The tea, however, had been spiked and would soon kill Margaret Thatcher leaving medical experts to believe that the cause of death was a stroke.

In the other room, Ivan was preparing to talk to Margaret about what would happen after meeting with her sister.

He entered Margaret’s room after knocking twice on the door.

“Margaret” Ivan called.

No-one responded as the dead find it quite hard to talk back.

Ivan peered into Margaret’s bedroom to find her dead, a smashed teacup was next to her spilling its contents into the expensive carpet.

Ivan was shocked, who could have killed her? Who could have known she was here? Then it struck him. He knew exactly who it was. It was The First World Order. Somehow they had found her and assassinated her.

If she was dead it was only a matter of time before he and Paula where killed. He ran to where Paula Deen was staying and banged on the door. Paula Deen opened it, wondering why someone was being so rude.

“What is it?” Paula snapped.  
“Something terrible has happened” Ivan replied.  
“What?” Asked Paula.  
“Margaret is dead!” Ivan replied sadly.

Paula waved Ivan into her room and shut the door.

“What do you mean she’s dead?” Asked Paula disbelievingly.  
“The First World Order killed her,” Ivan said.  
“The what?” Paula asked.

Ivan explained quickly what The First World Order was and why they had decided to kill Paula’s sister, he also explained that she and Margeret were destined to defeat The First World Order.

Paula felt saddened by this news and like she had lost someone she had known her whole life. Ivan was busy thinking how now that Margaret had died there was no-one to save the planet and stop the Order.

“We need to stop this Order,” Said Paula, matter-of-factly.  
“How? The prophecy said that you could only defeat The First World Order together” Ivan said.  
“Screw the prophecy!” said Paula, “I’m going to avenge my sister.”

Paula was buzzing with electricity and not just in the metaphorical sense, she had bright blue arcs of lightning rippling all around her.

“I’m going to avenge my sister” Paula repeated.

And then she disappeared into nothing.  
Ivan was in disbelief, as anyone would be if they had watched someone glow blue and disappear before their eyes.

“Great,” Ivan thought “Now even Paulas gone”...


	8. The First World Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paula meets the Director

Paula appeared in an office suite. She had only one thing on her mind. Revenge.

She hovered quickly and dangerously down the block, papers rustling behind her. Two armed guards ran in front of her ready to gun her down, they were however not ready to be disintegrated with a wave of Paula’s hand. She stormed out of the block and down a corridor obliterating anyone in her way.

She stopped outside an office door marked The Director’s office. In here was the man Ivan said was behind the attack on her sister. She blew open the door with a thunderous crash and floated in menacingly.

“Hello Paula, I’ve been expecting you,” the Director said, seemingly unfazed by the events that had just taken place.  
“Really? That was quite cliché” Said Paula.  
“No matter without your sister you are powerless to stop me and the Order from taking over the world,” the Director said.  
“Wrong, I have powers that you wouldn’t believe” Responded Paula.

The Director pulled out a silver orb from one of his desk drawers.

“Then give them to me,” He said.

He activated the orb and a blue pulse emanated from the device and wrapped itself around Paula’s powered form.

“What is this?” Paula yelled.  
“We knew you would try and use your prophetical powers against us if we killed your sister, so we laid a trap” the Director monologued. “I had this device built to contain and absorb your powers so we could use them to kill half of the population of Earth.”  
“I won’t let you!” Screamed Paula, a blinding flash of red ripping away from her body and getting absorbed into the orb.  
“There is nothing anyone can do now,” the Director said gleefully.

All the light in the room seemed to be sucked into the silver contraption. There seemed to be no way out of this, Paula was going to die and then the whole world would fall.

Suddenly just as everything seemed hopeless she remembered her sister and Ivan all alone back at The Ritz, her sister may be dead but she had to try and keep everyone safe from The First World Order.

“I won’t let you do this!” Shouted Paula as she shattered the device and breaking free of its blue glow.  
“What how did you do this?” Asked the Director fearfully.

Without a word, Paula Deen stepped towards him, his desk flying out of her way and lodging itself in the wall.

The Director stood up to oppose her, still trying to gain control of the situation.

With a wave of her hand, the Director’s features melted like butter until there was nothing left.

Paula Deen incinerated the room and flew out of the ceiling until she could see The First World Order’s HQ below her. Using her powers she flattened the building into the ground and vaporized the remains.

The Order was destroyed...

Using the last of her power she teleported back to The Ritz where Ivan was sitting on the bed. As the glow and power left her body she collapsed, exhausted, to the floor.

When she awoke she was sitting in a hospital bed with Ivan in a guest chair next to her.

“What happened?” Ivan asked.  
“I destroyed The First World Order” Paula replied.  
“How?” Asked Ivan.

Paula explained how after Ivan told her what happened to Margaret and Millicent she felt a surge of power unlike anything she had felt before and somehow she knew how to teleport to The First World Order’s HQ.

She told Ivan about the Director’s plan and how she had destroyed both him and then the Order.

“Well now that the order has been stopped, what are you going to do?” Asked Ivan.  
“I’m going to continue to be a chef” responded Paula. “What about you?”  
“I don’t know, I’m probably going to visit my cousin in Sicily,” Ivan said.  
“Good luck,” Paula said.  
“You too,” said Ivan as he left the hospital room, he had had quite an eventful year and it was time to take a break...


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue

After the destruction of The First World Order, Paula Deen went back to being a famous chef and had a very successful tv show. Not once did she forget her fallen sister Margaret Thatcher or Millicent Ivanov and the events that happened throughout their lives. Ivan kept in touch with Paula, even when he was in Sicily where he helped on his cousin’s farm until he died at the age of 115.

The First World Order was destroyed completely and everyone who worked there had perished. The First World Order’s plan to cull half the population never came to form thanks to the powers of Paula, Margaret, Millicent and Ivan. 

The world never found out about what they had done and the people went about their lives as normal without a second thought.

The prophecy was complete.

The world was finally safe…

For now.


End file.
